If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
