I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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