Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
