the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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