I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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