Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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