Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
