I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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