He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
