Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I will pee on everything he values.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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