I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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