I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
