Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
