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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
