so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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