mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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