I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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