You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
