Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
