All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
