Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
