I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
