brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
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That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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