Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
