I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
