I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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