You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
