i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
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Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize