i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
