Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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