I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize
