Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
