I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
