you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
