11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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