This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
