Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize