I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
