New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
