: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
