he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
