It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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