the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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