where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
