Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Green mimosas i think yes
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
