how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I did not marry a roomba.
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