You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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