Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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