We're like a lot better than the average bears
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
