Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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