She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
