yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You made out with two different species that night
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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