You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she smelled like a LAN party
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
