i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
