i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
