I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
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Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
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he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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