I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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