My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
