he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
