No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
