spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize