OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Randomize
