it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
