the condom got lost in my hair
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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