Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
