I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
